One of the more usual aspects of becoming a parent are all the superhuman abilities and talents that arise. Here is a list of 10 very strange super-human abilities that every parent develops.
1) Popeye Left Arm: Since you carry your baby in your left arm to keep your right hand available, you have slowly developed the world’s strongest left arm. Your left arm is so much stronger, can’t even hold your baby in your right arm anymore.
2) Pacifier Homing Beacon: You have the supernatural ability to identify the location of any lost pacifier. At 2am with one eye closed, your homing beacon guides you underneath the lazy boy chair in the corner.
3) Prophetic Microwaving: Strangely, you know the exact micro second for how long any liquid needs to be microwaved in order to reach the perfect temperature. Its never 15 or 30 seconds anymore. You would heat things to fractions of seconds if you could.
4) Wall Penetrating Hearing: Even when your baby is across the house, you can supernaturally hear when a pacifier is lost, the first squeaks of your baby waking or even which toiletry accessory has been placed in your baby’s mouth.
5) Diaper Detection Pat Down – with the slightest pat on the baby’s bum, you can know the life expectancy of the diaper being used and how much time is remaining.
6) One Handed Dexterity: From opening bottles to dressing yourself, you’ve become so used to only having one available hand, you wouldn’t feel that disabled if you lost the other.
7) Index Finger Scoop: The moment that piece of cheese or graham cracker becomes too much for baby, your index finger can swoop right in and instantly retrieve the food before it becomes a problem.
8) Poo Perception – you have seen and experienced so much poo, you know exactly when something is off. You know every gross detail of what constitutes as “normal” when it comes to your child’s movements.
9) Perfect Pouring: Amazingly, you could pour 8 ounces of any liquid blindfolded perfectly.
10) Baby Talk Translation: What sounded like “Frrdddddrrrr?” to every human being on the planet, you understood your baby wanted a balloon.