20 Rules About Life (According To A Toddler)
Here are 20 rules about life I have learned from my daughter Scarlett:
1) The optimal time to take a marathon nap is right before one of mommy and daddy’s important time commitments. Otherwise stick with 30-40 minute naps or no napping at all.
2) Laptops make a fun noise when they hit the ground.
3) The dog is the favorite family member.
4) The best way to get your point across is to go completely limp.
5) Randomly decide to make it opposite day where “Yes” means “No” and “No” means “Yes.”
6) Go on a potty strike for three days and wait until mom and dad are dressed nicely and let a rip! “Bombs away!”
7) Unless it’s my idea, its a bad idea.
8) Dropping food on the floor is always more fun than dropping it in my mouth.
9) Whatever food I liked yesterday, I detest today. We’ll see about tomorrow.
10) The best time to scream loudly is when daddy is on a important conference call.
11) Most green foods taste disgusting.
12) Forget the fancy and expensive toys because there is nothing more interesting than a plastic wrapper from the garbage.
13) Fingers are made small for the very purpose of placing them in electrical outlets, opening cupboards and poking eyes.
14) If it fits in the mouth, will be placed in the mouth.
15) There is no problem that cant be resolved with string cheese, crackers or a pacifier.
16) The word “Come” really means “Run For Your Life.”
17) It’s hard to be disciplined while blowing kisses and looking cute.
18) If it has a button, it will be pressed.
19) Instead of impressing grandparents with all your newly learned abilities, pretend to lose all motor skills and knowledge of words.
20) You can drive mommy and daddy crazy during the day, but they will talk about you all night and miss you while you sleep.