About three months ago, our neighbors moved out of the house they were renting. We absolutely loved having them next to us and they were like family to us. We were very sad to see them go. Meanwhile, their former house has sat vacant for months awaiting to be sold by the investment company that owns it… until yesterday.
To be honest, we aren’t exactly excited to have new neighbors. We like our quiet street and the extra parking out front. But yesterday came the day when Realtors began showing the house and taking several couples on tours of the home. Just like the temptation to swerve at a student driver in the middle of a drivers test, I thought it would be fun to come up with a list of fun things we could do during a Realtor’s showing in order to keep the home vacant a bit longer.
1) Bring out all your tools and spare wood and drop it in the middle of your drive way. Scream about how a flood is coming and how God told you to build an Ark.
2) Put a sign out front of your house that says “As Featured on the TV Show, Hoarders – Buried Alive.”
3) Fake a domestic disturbance complete with dish throwing and door slamming.
4) Open all your windows and blast audio clips of lions roaring.
5) Call in an anonymous police tip that there is an Al Qaede cell forming during the open house.
6) Buy lots of yellow fabric and put it on the outside of the house with a sign that reads “Roach Busters” on the outside.
7) Buy 20 giant fake plastic rats and hang them by their tails outside your garage. Yell out loud, “Let this be a lesson to the rest of you rats!”
8) Hand out flyers to prospective buyers about your weekly NRA meetings in your home.
9) Organize a flash mob at the house showing.
10) Post nearby flyers from America’s Most Wanted with the Realtor’s photo on it.
11) Stuff a body bag full of pillows and put it outside by your trash cans alongside the recycling.
12) Wear a gas mask and do yard work outside.
13) Have a wedding ceremony in your front yard to marry your dog and your cat together. Set up chairs and invite friends.
14) Cover your car in shaving cream. Attempt to shave it.
15) Let your dogs roam free in front of the house and sing “who let the dogs out” over and over and over again.
Have some fun ideas and suggestions to expand this list? Tell me below in the comments.